Atmosphere. One simple word that has brought about such amazing feelings and wonderful music. It all started at Ultra Music Festival 2013 where Kaskade laid down my dream set. When he initially played Atmosphere and no one knew the song, it was priceless. Little did he know what he just brought onto the world. He premiered a lot of his new tracks that day and the sets to come after were just as amazing.
Today, as I write this, I want to thank you DJ Ryan Raddon. I have made countless friends, whom I consider my family, because of you. I’ve learned to appreciate music for what it is. My heart is brimming with love for all of these people, some of whom I have yet to meet but feel closer to than anyone I have here. I am proud to be Freak. I’ve grown so much with you and your music. Your songs and tracks all speak to the heart, the soul. As much as I love so many other djs, you take the cake. You’re humble, happy with everything, have a beautiful family, and you’re straightedge! Quite the role model if I do say so myself.
After the release of Atmosphere, I got a good listen to all of the tracks. Feelin The Night is my favorite but then again, which one can I not like? Last Chance and Floating are beautiful. The airport code tracks I keep trying to think about what you were thinking at the time. I’ve genuinely shed a few tears to two tracks in specific, NOKWWA and How It Is. On long drives at night, I felt the raw emotion of No One Knows Who We Are in its acoustic entirety. You made a song before we all knew about a certain EDM bubble was created. The media and people in general want to label us as troublemakers, drug abusers, crazy kids. We are more than that. We stand united to be happy. To finally be happy. Music is our high and music is the language the heart speaks. I don’t care what they say because I am a Freak and I will love this music until the day I die.
Now…How It Is. You knew that in order for us to love your Big Room tracks, mashups and mixes, we would need to understand the bare tracks themselves. All of the tracks are stripped of their shell. We’ve heard Chasing How It Is and Something Something Champs a lot but to hear their original versions…man, you’ve made something special. So simple yet, something grand - taking these amazing, brilliant simple tracks and making quite the memory with them. This Atmosphere BRST thing you have going on will be something I will cherish forever. I have Miami this weekend. NYC and then Chicago in October. After hearing Atmosphere a dozen times, I put on your Ultra set again. Full voice singing with much more passion and flair when singing to the mashups.
It’s as if my life is bare now. I can make my future better by the hard work I put in and the love of everyone around me. It’s what you’re doing for this tour, this movement, and for us. It’s a brilliant lesson learned. How can I ever repay you?
We finally did meet in Jersey at Revel. You speak with your hands like I do and you’re such a chill guy. I very much admire you and what you have done for us. All I can say is thank you. Kudos on a very successful album and cheers to the best tour of your life and mine.
P.S. I would like to get you an Arsenal jersey with your favorite number on it. Please let me know so the next time we meet, you’ll get a present. And one more thing, how about a Redux Part Deux?
Keep doing what you do. Let The Music Speak.
Where do I begin? It’s been quite a long journey and I’m very happy with what I have, who I have. My interest in music has always been strong and ever-expansive. I listen to it all, from Eminem to OneRepublic, from Aventura to Paramore. Then I woke up.
I got my first taste of what is known as Electronic Dance Music one fateful day at work in 2009. Pandora was streaming One More Time by Daft Punk, which to me is a legendary classic now. I clicked on similar sounds and the next track was one that change my life forever. The song was I Remember by deadmau5 and Kaskade. Initially, I was attracted to the mau5 and got very involved into house and tech house. Very good stuff like Strobe and Faxing Berlin. I loved Joel Zimmerman and what he brought. I looked at Kaskade and figured he’s new and his music was okay at best. I didn’t look close enough to see all the gems that were unearthed. I got a taste to trance which is where my roots lie now. I heard, who I consider a god of EDM, Armin van Buuren and the rest was downhill. Tiesto, Dash Berlin, Cosmic Gate, Above & Beyond. I’ve gotten to know the differences between house and trance. The genres are endless! Classics were my favorite, especially As The Rush Comes (Gabriel & Dresden Chillout Mix) by Motorcycle. EDM changed my life for the better. I even named my website for my new story after that song - AsTheRushComes.com
Over time, I got to listen to much more EDM as the explosion started. I didn’t know much of it nor was I a raver. I loved the music, it made me very happy. I felt like a lurker as I saw other people talking about raves and such. I followed Kaskade one day on twitter and I am glad I did. Fire & Ice was just coming out in a few months I believe. I started to look into what he had to offer. Move For Me, Angel On My Shoulder, some older albums caught my attention like Strobelight Seduction. I still wasn’t an avid listener but my taste was insatiable. I kept reaching for new music as I do to this day. Tiesto got me very much into house with his Club Life albums and in one of them I heard Fire In Your New Shoes. Wonderful track. I kept thinking this Kaskade dude has some skills. But for me, I still thought Armin was a god and Tiesto a king.
I bought Fire & Ice on the release day because lots of people were looking forward to it. I was very satisfied. Skylar Grey, Skrillex, Rebecca & Fiona, Neon Trees. I mean what was not to like? I had Fire & Ice on repeat often but mostly the fire side. Didn’t have much love for the ice side of the album.
Somehow, my love for Kaskade grew. I’m currently listening to Falling In Love With Brazil - a wonderful track that makes me want to fall in love, seriously. Anyways, I kept listening to his mashups and mixes. EDC, his earlier work like It’s You, It’s Me, just all of it. I learned how to appreciate the music for what it is. There’s no rough feeling or heaviness in his music. I loved the Ice side more than the Fire side finally! I have affinity towards deep house now! It’s funny because my roots are in trance but my love is house. I’m always torn because I listen to Above & Beyond Group Therapy and A State Of Trance weekly.
I had the chance to go to the Freaks of Nature tour which I believe was in Maryland. I really wanted to go but my friends bailed last minute and I was too nervous and scared to go alone. I didn’t want to be alone in a crowd of people. I’d have felt like a weirdo and a loner. It sucks to have no one that loves the same music that you do.
Another day that I very much like was the day I followed @colleenburns on twitter. I thought this girl was cute and loved Kaskade as much as I did! She in fact did love him so much, I was overwhelmed that someone else could love music like I did. She is like the great sister I never had now! Skipping forward and a few more stories, Kaskade was having his Redux tour and I was blessed that he was coming to DC (which he needs to do again since we have a great, perfect venue called EchoStage). I was told not to expect his big room tracks but something much more intimate. Deep, deeper than the ocean. People were referencing drowning which made me crack up. I went and had the time of my life!!!! I had a few drinks and got a bit dirty with a stranger but I mean, Kaskade plays those intimate tracks so what could I do? I lost myself to the music haha. Kaskade ended his set and waved to Colleen as he was done. I was standing next to her so I was fangirling. Whoops. That was the very first time I saw Kaskade. It was something magical.
See Part II
It’s been a wild year. I’d honestly have to say it’s been the best one yet. At this age, nothing surprises me except myself. When I thought I’ve matured or learned my lesson, I’m brought to my knees and revel at the fact that I didn’t learn a thing. The one thing I do know is that I take my defeats in grace. I thank God for that. I can’t imagine if I kept taking hit after hit and not know how to get back up. I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place. But I’ve started to find ways to get me out…sometimes avoid it altogether.
I’m proud to say that life is starting to come together after it fell apart a few years ago. I never thought putting the pieces back together would take this long but it looks like I’m halfway done. It’s the focus I never put into this project, that is what I was missing all along.
Right now, I’ve never felt more alone. Right now, I feel as if I have many more friends than I’ve had before…but at the same time, I’ve lost every um…leading lady? Yeah, let’s call them that…well, I’ve lost every girl that was in my life. One after the other, they stopped texting. Many reasons that were out of my control. It’s as if this point in my life was meant to be like this. Guess I need to really LIKE myself before I can like anyone else. Yeah, generally that’s a good thing to do but I’ve never been more out of my mind and bored like this.
Over the year, I’ve become a complete dick. I grew a backbone and I guess women also contributed to that. I get treated like shit and because of that, I just became the one thing I promised myself I would never become: an asshole. Nice guys finish last. “You’re a nice guy!…but…” yeah, fuck you. You like to be treated like shit and neglected. When a guy treats you like a queen and will do anything to get you to smile, you could not care less. It’s women like you that turn nice guys into assholes. AND THEN YOU WONDER WHERE ALL THE NICE GUYS ARE. So thanks.
Now I’m ranting, fuck that. I just want to relax and let life take its course. I just want to be happy and free. I would like my hard work to finally pay off. Life isn’t and never will be easy. But it would be heaven if I could just reap the rewards of all the effort I put in. I’m not one to complain. I’ve become more and more patient but maybe it will wear thin one day and I will flat out give up.
I have way to many thoughts running through my head at the moment. I’ve gotten way too much perspective because of certain people and because of the situations I’ve gotten myself into. Yes, I’ve started to focus on my life but tonight is different. Tonight I can’t think a single, clear thought. I just want to wake up with something that will move me forward or at least thrust me in a challenging but inspiring way. Would be nice to have a new girl to talk to or rediscover something from my past.
You can’t change the past. People say the past defines you and others say that the past is the past and you can only live in the present. What am I to believe? I realized that though I’ve had my fair share of memories, the past does not define me. It’s the foundation of my life but who I am today and who I choose to be tomorrow is what is important. I can’t forget the past but I will not let it run my life.
What I want is to remember all the smiling faces of everyone I’ve come across in my life. Friends, family, strangers with good hearts…I just want to make them proud in some way. Thing is, I’m not sure if I need to build my own path or just keep going with the flow. I’ve let life take its course for a while now but I’ve never been one to just sit and wait.
I’m brash, I rush into things, I’m stubborn and I think with my heart rather than my head. I’m gonna be honest and say that I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no direction. Yes, my life is coming together finally. But what for? What should I do once it comes together? It’s as if I’m just begging for a new adventure. Do I let it come or do I make it myself? Do I “forge my own path”?
This whole thing just makes me think of one of Paulo Coelho’s quotes:
That kinda puts my heart at ease….I guess I just needed to breathe. I need to remember this, etch it into my brain and heart. There is only one path, which may have detours and branches. But they ALL go back onto the same path. But is this really my destiny? Or do I forge this with my own two hands? I guess I like to be in charge of my destiny…..now I’m stumped.
If there is one path, every choice we make is a branch off that path but still connects to the the main one. Everything is already destined, already written. It’s really on me on how to create my path and how to move forward……ahh *lightbulb*
My choices, the paths I forge, they would be the journey I take. The destination is what is already written in this story of life. So I’m really writing this story with an unknown ending, but the ending I can’t choose for myself. A chosen but unknown ending. I just hope I’m happy in the end. I hope I’m destined for great things. I feel as if I’m worth much more than what I have now. And if I’m not, I want to work harder and harder to prove that I am.
"Whatever happens from now on, you stand firm and face your destiny without fear but with courage." I just want someone to make memories with. It’s never fun traveling alone, ya know? Let’s just hope that something great happens in this new year…I need motivation. But I will do my best to make 2013 very memorable.
Maktub It Is Written
I got a little bored…so I made a new movie poster… A Boyfriend For Christmas
just an FYI I don’t blame Andrea at all.
.@Michael_Rooker makes me love and fear him with one grin.